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YOUR CARL BARÂTS, YOUR HIDETOSHI NAKATAS
It doesn’t take a long stretch into The Fiver’s Tin-addled memory to foggily recall a time when taking too much of a liking to non-mainstream foreign teams left you labelled as a “football hipster”. That’s sooooo 2010 though, darling, and if you don’t know your Zulte Waragems (careful – Fiver Ed) from your FK Suduvas (ffs – Fiver Ed) then we’re afraid we just can’t help you. These days any self-respecting football whizz should be able to name the starting XIs of, say, Red Star Belgrade and Atalanta off the top of their heads – and, that being the case, have we got news for you!
Yes, tonight’s a night to get you tapping your merino runners and twirling your vintage band T-shirt around your head. In north London, Tottenham host early-90s throwback Red Star tonight while Manchester City welcome the freewheeling Serie A swashbucklers from Bergamo, who not only boast an excellent name but kept The Fiver safely away from social interactions during its early teens during a memorable series of campaigns on Championship Manager Italia. You haven’t lived until you’ve spent your school holidays locked away praying for Maurizio Ganz and Tomas Locatelli to stay fit across a season.
This evening it’s all about stark reality, though. In theory it should be a walk in the park for Tottenham against opponents who have shipped at least three goals in each of their last four visits to sides from Europe’s biggest leagues. But nothing has come easily for Mauricio Pochettino and company in recent weeks. They really have to win this one, otherwise the kind of salvage operation they launched in last season’s group stage will resemble a game of Fifa on easy mode. “In this type of period, our worst opponent is ourselves,” he said yesterday. That might not have been the case if Darko Pancev or Dragan Stojkovic were around this time but, with the greatest respect to Richmond Boakye and one-time Liverpool slayer Milan Pavkov, it’s fair to say any dithering from Davinson Sánchez or Jan Vertonghen holds as great a threat to Poch’s supposedly parlous position as anything.
Up in the north-west, expectations are being kept similarly in check even though Atalanta’s beguiling attacking style has most notably brought six goals for their own opponents – Dinamo Zagreb and Shakhtar Donetsk, no less – in their group stage games to date. “We are still not ready,” Pep Guardiola said at the weekend of City’s chances to win the competition, although that logic is starting to wear a little thin during his fourth season in charge and at a time when most of Europe’s traditional giants appear distinctly undercooked. This is as good a time for them as any, although Papu Gómez and his gang may yet have something to say about that tonight. A win for Atalanta would risk making the Italian club positively orthodox in the popular imagination; another entertaining trouncing might at least keep the ageing football hipster dream faintly alive for now.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Bull$hit” – Granit Xhaka there, responding to Patrice Evra’s claim on MNF – following the 1-0 defeat at Sheffield United – that Arsenal are mentally weak away from home.
FIVER LETTERS
“No truth in the rumour then that the Bulgaria job was initially offered to former Flyers goalie Ilya Bryzgalov then? It’s not like he doesn’t have the time on his hands, or the money as Philadelphia are still paying him $1.643m per year until 2027 to not play for them even though he pulled on skates labelled “Do One” in 2013” – Mike Allcock.
“I’ve always believed that the mark of a true great is the ability to turn a game on its head. The unique spark who seems to be able to reinterpret the laws of physics, the laws of geometry or even the laws of the game and bend them to his will. So after yet another man of the match performance at Old Trafford (and elsewhere) last weekend (and pretty much every other weekend too) can anyone explain how VAR didn’t make the Ballon D’Or shortlist?” – Adam Uncamus.
“I fear your correspondent (Fiver passim), Mike Wilner, is unaware of one of the laws of the game if he thought Ben Foster had all the time in the world to take a goal kick. Yellow and red cards would soon follow if he took a fraction of that time. Speaking of time and goalkeepers, when was the last occasion anyone saw a goalkeeper penalised for “controlling the ball for more than six seconds before releasing it” (Law 12)” – Brian Ross, and nobody else.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Mike Allcock.
RECOMMENDED LOOKING
David Squires on … Manchester United v Liverpool, ‘Lampard’s Lambs’ and Dusty Bin. You can get your mitts on a copy of this very cartoon from our print shop.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Good news for Liverpool: Mo Salah is among the Reds’ contingent travelling to Genk for tomorrow’s Big Cup action. Bad news: Trent Alexander-Arnold and Joël Matip aren’t.
More Liverpool chat: the Premier League leaders have contributed seven of this year’s Ballon d’Or shortlist, while Manchester City and Barcelona offer only four apiece to this year’s 30-strong male shortlist. Megan Rapinoe features alongside three fellow USA! USA!! USA!!! World Cup winners for the women’s prize.
Millwall, 17th in the Championship, have demonstrated the vaulting ambition for which they’re renowned: appointing Gary Rowett – who was sacked by Stoke in January when the club were 14th.
The EFL will look at doing helpful stuff to scrutinise prospective club owners in the wake of Bury’s expulsion in August. “We must learn lessons,” warbled acting chair Debbie Jevans.
At least 16 Flamengo fans were arrested after Rio police said they planned to invade the Maracanã for the second leg of the Copa Libertadores semi-final against Grêmio. In a statement, authorities said intelligence gathered from social media included “threats to kill police, rob, cause damage and harass Grêmio fans”.
Ayr United, second in the Scottish Championship, have appointed veteran midfielder/Championship Manager legend Mark Kerr as manager.
STILL WANT MORE?
Now we can measure the popularity of women’s football, there’s no reason not to up the prize money, argues Suzanne Wrack.
Ian Rush on coaches and his short managerial career, for your reading pleasure.
Haringey is the perfect place for football to take a stand against racism, writes Borough fan Helen Parton.
Before the visit of Liverpool, here’s Tumaini Carayol on Genk’s rebuilding job.
Spurs fancy their chances with Isco and Olivier Giroud may be heading for Crystal Palace – or so says our trusty Rumour Mill.
Jonathan Wilson is in Buenos Aires, the lucky so and so, and here’s a hot take on why the Copa Libertadores semi-final second leg between River and Boca is still being overshadowed by last year’s shambles.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
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