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'We've only been dating a year but our hot sex has gone off the boil'



Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and I’m totally in love with him. I’m in my mid-20s and he’s a bit older at 30, but it’s a small age gap.

We got together quite quickly – it was very passionate – and I moved into his place when the first lockdown was announced.

Our first few months together were amazing – we’d have sex several times a day and just couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was actually brilliant being locked down together with no distractions.

Now, though, while it’s clear we both love each other and get on brilliantly as friends, the sex has dwindled to virtually nothing.

I’m always up for it, but he’s just not as interested and I feel rejected when I snuggle up to him and he moves away. I think we’ve had sex once in the past month.

I’m attractive and, dare I say it, pretty sexy, and have never been short of admirers, but my boyfriend just seems to have gone off me and I feel too embarrassed to ask him why. Any ideas?

Coleen says

I know this kind of conversation feels awkward, but I don’t think you should shy away from it. Try to discuss things when you’re feeling calm and not when there’s an expectation of sex.

Tell him how you’re feeling – rejected and worried about where the relationship is heading – and ask him what’s changed for him.

Maybe it’s a classic rut, helped along by the pressures of lockdown, and he’s already given up making any effort in the bedroom. However, I’d be worried he’s stopped trying so soon into the relationship.

READ  Dear Coleen: My boyfriend's mum turned against me and is making my life hell

When you first get together, it’s always a sexfest, but you can’t sustain it because you have to get out of bed, get dressed, hold down
a job, do the supermarket shop and so on!

Equally, you’re in your 20s and sex and relationships should be fun, and shouldn’t make you feel insecure and unattractive.

If you do see a future for the two of you, communication will be vital for the success of the ­relationship, so bite the bullet and ask him what’s going on.





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