lifestyle

Swinger mum debunks myths and misconceptions about partner swapping


The 29-year-old mum wants people to know swinging isn’t seedy (Picture: Vista Wife)

The swinging community is one that many never learn about unless they’re a part of it, with partner swapping and group sex shrouded in a sense of taboo.

But for Vista Wife, who does not wish for her real name to be shared, it’s a regular part of life, as she juggles being a mum alongside swinging with her husband.

Meeting her husband as a teen, the 29-year-old has been married for 10 years and the pair – who have two kids – have been swinging for around three years.

The couple meet with others to have sex in hotels or when the children aren’t home, and Vista Wife is vocal on OnlyFans and TikTok about their lifestyle and how everything works.

As a swinger and a parent/partner, Vista Wife wants to dispel the myths around the community, removing the ‘underground’ or ‘seedy’ connotations around it.

‘It’s always ok to want more,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘Nothing seedy, nothing twisted, just the good old truth’

We asked her some of the most common misconceptions around swingers and swinging, so you could find out the truth from somebody who’s seen behind the curtain.

Check out her answers below:

The couple mainly meet others in hotels or when the children are away (Picture: Vista Wife)

Swingers have pampas grass in their gardens

I think back in the day it was used as a sign for swingers, but it is such a wildly used plant for gardening it has now also become fashion in interior design.

I think swingers have moved on from this instead it’s the upside down pineapple – pictures in peoples houses, ornaments, door knockers, and discreet jewellery.

Swinging is mainly for older people

False. There is now, more than ever, younger swingers in the lifestyle. It is becoming widely more accepted to have threesomes, foursomes, orgies, and polyamorous relationships.

I feel that the younger generation are more open and excepting to experiencing new things. I have seen with my own eyes from ages 20 to 80, from all different backgrounds.

People swing because they’re unhappy with their partners

False. This is really not the case. It is purely for extra fun, excitement and kicks. You find most swinging couples are more stable and have more trust within their relationship and are concrete.

You also find most of the time that one of the party members is bicurious or bisexual and wanting to explore that side.

It was around seven years into their marriage when her husband suggested swinging (Picture: Vista Wife)

Swinging is a male-dominated environment

Yes and no. There are a lot of males in the swinging lifestyle and on swinging websites.

I find males are more open to trying a lot of new things, and maybe don’t get the same reaction that couples and women do when you say that you’re in the swinging lifestyle.

You can’t be a parent and be involved in swinging

False. We are parents to two children and find time to swing on date nights, while we are away on hotel breaks, and during the day while the kids are at school we have a day off together through the week.

STDs are common in the swinging community

False. Swingers are savvy when it comes to protection. I believe swingers are probably Durex’s number one customer!

Everyone has the same mindset when it comes to using condoms – it’s better to be safe than sorry and always leave a meet with peace of mind.

Vista Wife now has an OnlyFans where she shares pictures and videos (Picture: Vista Wife)

Swingers will sleep with anyone

This is totally not the case. Just like everyone else there has to be that initial attraction and chemistry. Just because you like threesome, foursomes, orgies, and kinks doesn’t mean that you will just sleep with anyone.

Experimenting with partner swapping is a way that couples ‘cheat’ on each other without recrimination

False. Being non-monogamous is not cheating as it’s consensual from both sides of the relationship.

The key is open and honest communication between the couple so each person knows what’s going on.

The desire to swing is often one-sided in a relationship

False. Each side of the couple needs to be comfortable, happy, and 100% that they want to jump into the lifestyle.

If this [one-sided desire] was the case it just wouldn’t work.

People who swing are obsessed with sex

False. Being a swinger is all about the new experiences and experimenting with different things. Feeling free to explore your sexual desires with like-minded people who don’t judge you for being you and wanting more.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.


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