'Sexy guy I've liked for years wants a second date but he’s really boring'

Agony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader who went out with her dream man only to find he had no personality at all

I’ve fancied him for ages but he turned out to be really dull

Dear Coleen

I’ve liked a guy who runs our local pub for a really long time – I’m talking a few years. I was never in a position to do anything about it until recently because I was always in a relationship.

He never knew I liked him until one night my friend told him when she was a bit drunk. I was mortified, but he invited me out for a drink the next time I saw him and we arranged to meet up.

I can’t express how much I fancied this guy – he’s so ­handsome and sexy – but I’d never actually had an in-depth conversation with him until our date.

I was so excited to go out with him, but it wasn’t what I imagined at all. He was very dull and a bit awkward and shy, and nothing like I imagined him to be. I even started nodding off when we were having a coffee back at his place.

He’s asked me out again, but I don’t know whether I should go.

Can someone stop being boring or is it possible to make them more interesting? In terms of looks he’s got it all going on, but he doesn’t have the personality to match.

What do you think this reader should do? Have your say in the comments below

Coleen says

OK, so you’ve fallen for his looks, but when you actually started talking to him, you’ve realised you need so much more than that to give the relationship potential.

This is an obvious thing to say, but you get used to someone’s appearance and looks fade with age, and it’s all the other stuff that sustains a relationship.

However, you’ve really built up this guy in your head and I don’t think he could possibly live up to your expectations.

The first date was disappointing, but I think it’s hard to judge from one meeting – he might have been really nervous or trying too hard to make an impression. If you’ve waited this long to date him, I think you should give him another chance to see if you can connect on a personal level.

Why not do an activity this time instead of sitting in a bar? He might be good fun if he’s not in the pub.

If you still feel the same, you have to think: “He’s gorgeous but he’s not for me”, and move on. It is possible to be good looking and boring!

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