'My partner's ex won't let me meet his son – I think she's being out of order'

A parent on Mumsnet has claimed her boyfriend’s ex-wife is refusing to let her meet his son, even though they’ve been dating for two years and he’s already met her kids

A woman standing in the middle of a street holding a child in her arms. She has her back to the camera, and the young child is leaning their head against her shoulder.
The mum’s partner met her kids before Christmas, but she still hasn’t met his son (stock image)

Jumping back into the dating pool when you already have children is no easy task, and it can be tricky to find the right time to introduce your new partner to your kids.

But one mum on Mumsnet has been left frustrated with her current boyfriend’s ex-wife, as although they’ve been dating for two years and are serious about each other, she won’t let her meet their son.

The mum explained her boyfriend met her own children just before Christmas, but her partner’s ex doesn’t want her to meet their son until she’s had a chance to sit down with her first – which won’t happen until May.

She wrote: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over two years. We’ve discussed the future and decided to get married next year.

Her partner’s ex-wife wants them to wait until May before they meet up (stock image)


Getty Images/iStockphoto)

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“I took my time in introducing him to my children and he didn’t meet them until just before Christmas. We’re now slowly integrating him into our lives.

“My boyfriend asked his ex-wife about introducing me to their son. She said it was okay, but that she would like to meet me first.

“We suggested a couple of dates in the coming month which she couldn’t do, so we asked her when would be good. She came back with a date in mid-May.”

The woman believes her boyfriend’s ex-wife is being “deliberately obstructive” by making the couple wait until May – especially since the ex has known about their relationship for over a year.

She added: “Am I being unreasonable to think she is being deliberately obstructive? She and my boyfriend had been divorced for two years before I met him and she’s been aware of my existence for at least a year.

“We’ve been purposefully slow in involving the children but would really like to move forward in introducing them now.”

And commenters on Mumsnet were adamant that the woman and her boyfriend shouldn’t let his ex-wife “dictate” when she meets his son.

One person wrote: “I think he needs to go back and say that if she can’t meet you until May then he will be going ahead and introducing anyway. Don’t let her dictate this.”

While another said: “I think you’ve both tried to do the right thing and I understand she’d like to meet you, but unfortunately as she hasn’t been able to suggest a suitable date, that won’t be possible.

“Ultimately your partner gets to decide who his child meets when they’re with him.”

And a third posted: “The first step is to say to her that mid-May is far too late, you want to abide by her wishes and meet her first but it has to happen by the end of January. If not, you will be meeting with his son anyway.”

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