'My parents thought my new partner was great – until they found out her gender'

A woman on Reddit said her parents were eager to meet her new partner when she told them about their career – but changed their minds when they found out she was a woman

Two young women holding hands with their backs to the camera at sunset.
The woman’s parents were thrilled with her successful partner before they knew her gender (stock image)

We all know that people should be free to love whoever they choose, but for some people, accepting that love is love can be easier said than done.

One woman on Reddit has claimed her parents are still stuck in their old ways and can’t seem to accept their daughter’s sexuality – and they even changed their opinion on her partner when they found out her gender.

The woman explained she identifies as bisexual and said her parents have “disliked every girl” she has brought home in the past, while taking a liking to all the boys.

So when she began dating her girlfriend, the woman devised a plan – she told her parents all about her partner without telling them her gender.

Her parents were ‘disappointed’ as soon as they realised she had a girlfriend (stock image)


Getty Images/Johner RF)

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She said: “I am bi and my parents have always dislked every girl I brought home for one reason on the other. I think it is homopobia as they have been friendlier with my boyfriends.

“I have tried to bring it up but they are adamant that it was just because they didn’t like the girls. They are very defensive about it.

“The last time I visited I talked to them about my girlfriend. I didn’t mention the gender, I just told that I started to see someone and I knew they would like them.

“I listed out some of things they would like about her: the fact that she is an engineer, she works for for large tech company and she is very well educated.

“They were nodding along and I knew they assumed that it was a guy, and when I told them her name, their vibe changed from happy to disappointed. It was very upsetting.”

The woman confronted her parents about their immediate change in attitude – but her parents accused her of “tricking” them by not being upfront about who she was dating.

She added: “I kind of lost my cool and told them that I knew they would react this and that was why I didn’t specify gender at the start. They got upset at me for tricking them and purposely trying to get a reaction out of them.

“I feel like an a**hole because it was kind of manipulative and I feel sh***y for reducing my girlfriend to just her achievements.”

Commenters on Reddit were quick to reassure the woman, with many offering her words of encouragement and suggesting ways in which she could help her parents to be more accepting.

One person wrote: “If your parents weren’t homophobic then you could feel bad for tricking them, but they are and you were right. Many wishes of love and happiness to you and your girlfriend!”

While another said: “So here’s the bad news: your parents are homophobic. The good news? You can totally fix that with them.

“It takes time, it takes effort, and it takes patience, but if my Catholic-raised dad can come around to the LGBTQ+ community, then literally anyone can.”

And a third posted: “Hearts, not parts. That’s all that matters, and the fact that it matters to your parents is a sad statement. They’re just upset you caught them and called them out.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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