'My mother-in-law has taken over my wedding plans – she won't even invite my mum'

A woman on Mumsnet has been left fuming after her mother-in-law demanded she and her fiance get married next month, because it means her own mum won’t be able to attend

A woman sat at a table in a pink shirt looking frustrated and upset. Behind her, a man is talking to an older woman and they are both gesturing at each other. They are in a kitchen setting.
The woman’s mother-in-law has completely taken over all wedding planning (stock image)

Narrowing down your wedding guest list isn’t always easy, but we can all agree that family members – especially parents – are among the people guaranteed to get an invite.

That’s not the case for one mum on Mumsnet though, as she claims she’s being forced by her future mother-in-law to push her wedding forward to next month – meaning her own mum won’t be able to make it.

The mum explained she and her fiancé had a “religious wedding” last year but didn’t have a full wedding ceremony because of Covid restrictions.

Now the couple are organising another ceremony and registration where they can invite their friends and family, but the woman’s mother-in-law has completely taken over the planning.

The woman doesn’t want to get married without her mum at the ceremony (stock image)


Getty Images/Image Source)

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She wrote: “My fiancé and I had our religious wedding during COVID so we couldn’t have a ceremony earlier. We, therefore, planned a small wedding for late 2022.

“But now it turns out today that there’s been a change of plan, and my fiancé and future mother-in-law want to do it next month when we go visit them.”

The woman said her own mum wouldn’t be invited to the ceremony as she lives in another country and won’t be able to fly in on such short notice due to ongoing travel restrictions.

And what’s more, the wedding wouldn’t even be a special day just for the woman and her fiancé – because her partner’s brother would be getting married on the same day.

She added: “They have agreed that it would be a joint and small wedding, as my future brother-in-law would have a ceremony at the same time. I’m completely okay with that, and the plan was to have a small party with my fiancé’s family and fiancé and brother-in-law’s friends.

“But my mum isn’t included. As she is stuck in my home country because of travel restrictions she wouldn’t be able to make it next month, and my mother-in-law is adamant she doesn’t want to wait for her. She said she will take her out for dinner once she’s able to come.

“I’m really upset about the whole thing.”

In follow-up posts, the woman claimed she wasn’t included in any decisions about her own wedding and said her mother-in-law didn’t want her mum there because she can’t afford to pay for her portion of the wedding just yet.

She said: “They didn’t include me in any decisions as it is up to my mother-in-law, my fiancé and his brother only to discuss and decide apparently.

“She doesn’t want my mum to come because basically, she’s not paying for half of the party. She can’t afford it just yet and neither can I. But my mother-in-law doesn’t want to wait until we’re able to.

“My mum would pay for her ticket and accommodation but she can’t pay for half the wedding so my mother-in-law doesn’t want her there.”

And commenters on the post were quick to reassure the woman that wanting her own mum at her wedding isn’t an unreasonable request.

One person wrote: “It’s your wedding not your mother-in-law’s. If you want to wait until your mum can make it, you wait. They can’t force you to get married.”

While another added: “It’s your wedding too. If you want to wait until your mum can come then that is totally your prerogative. Put your foot down and say you want to wait.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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