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'My friend doesn't want to have a baby but says I've stolen a name from her'


Some new parents can get a little…defensive over their choice of baby name.

It’s why many opt to keep their choice secret – to avoid arguments or unwanted opinions.

If you keep your options close to your chest, no one can nab your choice, and you also don’t get drawn into drama that frankly, no one needs.

Because for some people, it can get difficult very quickly, and if you need an example, here’s one woman’s account of a conversation she recently had with a friend after telling her what she had named her son.

The new mum has chosen the name ‘Robin’, which is perfect for a bouncing baby boy.



Dad washing up while mum looks after daughter and uses laptop
The woman recently had a baby (stock image)

Except it turns out it isn’t. Not because there’s anything wrong with the name, but because her friend, who doesn’t want to have children, has always seen it as her favourite baby name.

The new mum went on Reddit asking for advice on how to deal with the unusual situation.

She wrote: “My friend is adamantly childfree. She doesn’t like kids nor does she want them, she uses multiple forms of birth control and has sworn up and down she would have an abortion the minute she found out she was pregnant.

“She also gets very upset if anyone suggests she’ll ever change her mind. She’s been like this since high school and we’re in our late 20s now so I was reasonably sure she was never going to have children.



A young woman with her new baby boy or girl in arms.
A pair of friends are having a baby name dilemma (stock photo)

“That said, she likes coming up with hypothetical baby names. She looks up the meanings and origins and has a list of probably hundreds of names she likes and would use if she wanted kids.

“Her #1 is “Robin” and has been since we were teenagers. I didn’t have a strong preference until I got pregnant and then I remembered that particular name and I just got attached to it.

“I really didn’t think she’d have an issue with it, considering I’m using a baby’s name that’s never going to actually exist and it’s a relatively common name anyway.

“My husband and I chose not to reveal our chosen names until the birth because we weren’t sure if we’d change our mind once we actually met him, but nope! He’s perfect and adorable and most definitely a Robin.

“I rang everyone to share the news and once I got to my friend, she was upset.

“She’s disappointed that I took her favourite baby name even if it was just a hypothetical. I was a bit taken aback by this so I apologized and suggested that if she ever did get pregnant she could still use it, we have different surnames and live in different countries it wouldn’t be a big deal.

“She said to drop it, but it’s been a few weeks and things still feel really off between us. I do feel guilty but I am not going to change my son’s name just to placate her either.”

Having shared the exchanges, people were quick to respond with advice, with one person advising: “She can’t stake out a name for an imaginary child she doesn’t even plan to have and declare it “hers” and off-limits.

“That’s…just not a realistic or reasonable expectation to have.”

Another was kinder, commenting: “If your friend is truly planning on being child-free it seems a bit ridiculous of her to hold on to a baby name.

“However… you admit you know she had that picked since you were teenagers, so with that in mind… out of the millions of possible names, you picked that one and didn’t bother to even casually mention it to her beforehand to gauge her opinion of it.

“That does seem a bit insensitive even considering the ridiculousness of it all.”

A third added: “Childfree or not, it was a name she picked herself. She doesn’t own the name, but it was one she’s thought of for years of using.

“She’s rightfully upset because you knew it was a name she would have used should she ever have a kid. Accidents happen and people can change their minds.”

What do you think about the argument? Let us know in the comments.





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