Coleen Nolan helps a Daily Mirror reader who is getting married to the love of her life next year – but hates her soon-to-be husband’s choice of best man
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I’m a 28-year-old woman and I’m getting married next year to my long-term boyfriend. Everything is great apart from my fiance’s choice of best man.
The guy he’s chosen has been his best mate since they started secondary school together, but he’s a total idiot.
He always has to be the loudest person in the room – he’s an attention seeker – and I’m pretty sure he dislikes me as much as I dislike him, which doesn’t bode well for the best man’s speech.
A few years ago, at a party at our house, I also overheard him talking to a group of friends calling me “uptight” and a “princess”.
I never said anything about it at the time, not even to my boyfriend, as I didn’t want to cause a problem, but I felt hurt and angry, and those comments have stayed with me.
Of course, I don’t want this guy to play such a significant role at my wedding. Also, if he really thinks those things about me, then he’s a hypocrite to accept the best man’s job and to stand up in front of people and wish us all the best – he wouldn’t mean it!
How should I argue my case with my fiance? I’d love your advice.
I’m not sure you can dictate who your fiance’s best man should be. Are you really going to tell him he can’t have his oldest mate as his best man?
That’s like him telling you who your bridesmaids are going to be – maybe there’s a couple of them he’s not too keen on, but I doubt he’d say it or make you fire them!
I get that there’s history with this guy – he made a couple of unkind comments, probably when he was drunk and showing off.
You were rightly annoyed and hurt, but the trouble with not having it out with him at the time is that your resentment has grown.
Why not tell your fiance what you heard him say and that it makes you nervous about what’s planned for the speech – maybe he can get to read it first.
Equally, though, I really don’t think this guy would try to ruin your wedding – he’d never do that to his best mate.
And, if he is out of order, there will be plenty of people to tell him that on the day!