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'My daughter-in-law is upset that I want my grandchild to call me Grandma'


When it comes to grandparents, there are all sorts of nicknames and terms of endearment we can use to refer to them – from Nanny to Pops and Granny.

But there are some people who are more than happy to stick with the traditional names of Grandma and Grandpa.

One woman recently claimed that she wanted her grandchildren to call her ‘Grandma’ and didn’t think anything of it – until her son and daughter-in-law got upset.

The unnamed woman took to Reddit to share her bemusement over the situation, asking fellow users if they thought she had done something wrong.

In her post, she explained how she already has two grandsons from her daughter, but her son is now expecting his first child, a little girl.



A child hugging her grandmother
She wants all her grandchildren to call her ‘Grandma’ (stock photo)

She told how the trouble with her son began on Mother’s Day. Her son and his partner came to visit and gave her a card with a ‘ticket’ inside which she could cash in for the name she wanted the baby to call her.

The grandmother is already called ‘Grandma’ by the two boys and says she loves being called that, so thought it was a good idea that they all call her the same.

However, she claims her daughter-in-law went quiet after hearing this.

“My son called me a few days after to tell me that [his wife] was very hurt that I didn’t want a ‘special’ name that I only shared with their children,” she wrote in her post.

“I was surprised that my choice had upset her and just assumed they were letting me pick so I would feel included in the process. I thought the gesture was sweet and I picked the name I would like to be called. Son then said that his wife feels like my grandson’s and daughter got to dictate the whole grand-parenting thing and they were left out of the process. I told him it wasn’t even a thing. My daughter referred to me as Grandma around the boys and that it wasn’t a planned thing.”

She added that her daughter-in-law called her a few hours after this chat and reiterated what the son had said.

“I thanked her again for the gesture but said I would rather all the kids call me the same name if it’s my choice. She said that isn’t the reason for the ‘ticket’ and that she was really hurt I didn’t want a special bond with her baby. I ended the call by telling her we have plenty of time to decide since the baby isn’t due until September and it will be months before she will be calling me anything.

“Now she and my son have been a bit distant and I am concerned this will damage our relationship.

“I am honestly at a loss because my preference makes her feel bad and I am concerned that a special name might make the boys feel bad.”

Unsure how to proceed she asked fellow Reddit users for their advice and more than 800 people responded to share their thoughts.

One person said: “Let her know you have a special bond with ALL your grandchildren, and loving the older ones doesn’t make the newest one any less special or loved.”

Another replied: “Yikes. She literally wants to alienate the other kids from their own Grandma. If all the grandkids interact, there will be unnecessary confusion and perhaps even jealousy based on who gets to call you what.”

A third posted: “It’s totally normal for all grandkids to refer to grandparents the same way.”

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