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'My boyfriend bought a house for us and our baby – but I'm refusing to move in'


It’s no secret that relationships can be tricky, with two people attempting to bring their lives together, aligning their hopes, dreams and plans for the future.

Things can easily go wrong if one person isn’t listening to what the other wants.

This is the situation one couple claims to have found themselves in, after the boyfriend purchased a property against his partner’s wishes.

The girlfriend, who is currently expecting a baby, revealed all in a post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.

In the post, she explains that the pregnancy came as a surprise and she was initially “devastated” when she found out about it, as she’d always had a plan for how her life would turn out.



Person exchanging keys with another.
He bought a house for them (stock photo)

She shares how she wanted to finish her studies, be married and have a house before starting a family.

Despite this, she decided to keep the baby and is now seeing a therapist to help her accept the curveballs life can throw at you.

However, her boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand what she’s going through.

She wrote: “My boyfriend has been trying to put band-aids on these problems.

“I explained to him that I’ve been trying to develop coping mechanisms for these unexpected moments so I can better handle them in the future, but he has been insistent that it’s just harder for me and that I should just ‘check off my boxes’ before the baby arrives. He has been trying to convince me to buy a house for two months (we already rent together) but I’ve been turning him down.

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“We don’t have the money to buy our ‘dream home’ and that’s what I want, not a fixer-upper or a house we only kind of like.”

A few days ago, the mum-to-be from the US claims her boyfriend took her out for dinner and then said he had a ‘surprise’ to show her.

She says he took her to a not so nice area to show her a house, but not just any house, one he had purchased for them.

“He bought a house that was being foreclosed on with a loan from his parents, a separate loan from his brother and his entire savings,” she said.

“The house is in HORRIBLE condition and will need to be gutted before our baby comes. There’s mould, the exterior is just awful, the landscaping has been neglected for years, all the carpets are stained and dirty, the hardwood is damaged, etc. etc.

“Even with all the fixes, I just don’t like the house. It’s not to my tastes, it’s not in a good area, I just dislike it.

“I sat on the partially dilapidated porch and just cried. This is not the house I wanted to welcome my baby in. I just can’t even pretend to like it. I can’t pretend I think this was romantic. It was dumb. He wasted THOUSANDS of dollars on a house I don’t even want to step foot in.”

As a result, the woman says she told her boyfriend she would not be moving into the house with him.

“I said I would not drain my savings or take out more loans to redo the house. I told him off for making this MASSIVE decision against my will and without my consent. I said if he liked the house, he could sleep there and have not let him back in to our place for the past week.

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“My parents think that he was an idiot for spending so much money on a house but think the idea is cute and that I should appreciate the effort.

“Boyfriend’s family has just been leaving hateful, hateful voicemails directed at me. My boyfriend has been alternating between furious and despondent. AITA for refusing to move in with him after he bought me a house?”

More than 690 people responded to the Reddit post to share their thoughts.

One said: “NTA. Cute is when you ask your boyfriend to buy your favourite perfume and he comes back with a gigantic bottle because he didn’t realize the little bottle lasts for months. Cute is not purchasing a dilapidated, run-down house as a ‘surprise’ without consulting you.

“Especially that last part. Big purchases like this need to have, well, buy-in from all adults in a household. Doing it himself is a very worrying form of controlling behaviour.”

Another wrote: “I guarantee the boyfriend never even stopped to consider what the neighbourhood schools were like, either.”

A third replied: “NTA. When you’re a couple big decisions like this need to be made together. Also why with a child in the way by a house that 1: Is in a bad neighbourhood and 2: Could very well cost more to fix her up than hubby paid for it to begin with. From the description this isn’t a fixer-upper, this needs to be demolished and a new house build.

“It’s dumb alright to think it’s OK to make such a huge financial decision without input and consent from your SO. He’s a major a**hole here. You shouldn’t have to be grateful for him sticking himself into a major debt right before you’re having a baby.”

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Do you think it was a nice gesture or a terrible decision? Let us know in the comments below.





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