A mum has been left fuming after she received an email saying her husband won’t be allowed back to their baby’s music group – as other mums say he made them uncomfortable
Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
When you’re a first-time parent, bringing your baby along to special “baby and parent” groups can be a great way to meet other new mums and dads and exchange valuable advice that could help you on your parenting journey.
But one mum has been left fuming after she let her husband take their son to a baby music group – as she received an email saying he wouldn’t be allowed back.
The mum took to Mumsnet to explain the situation, as she said that although the group was not specifically for mums, the other attendees were “uncomfortable” with having “a penis in the group environment”.
Before providing context, the mum posted a copy of the email which read: “I hope you’re well and your return to work went smoothly.
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“Just to let you know, a few of the mums messaged me after Monday’s session to express discomfort at having a penis in the group environment. They expressed they felt uncomfortable breastfeeding with him in the room and we want the group to always be a safe and inclusive space for breastfeeding mummies.
“I am a small business so think it’s best that he doesn’t attend again. Sorry for the inconvenience, I’ll refund any sessions you have pre-paid.”
The mum then said she had originally been taking her son to the group herself but after returning to work, her husband took over instead.
She added: “I returned to work two weeks ago, my husband is now a full-time stay at home dad to our eight-month-old son and he’s loving it. He’s a brilliant father and this will be the set up until our son starts school.
“I attended a baby music group with my son since he was two months old, and he really enjoys it (as much as a little baby enjoys anything!).
“Nowhere in the literature of the group does it refer to mums, everything is ‘baby and parent’ so I assumed my husband attending the group instead of me would be fine.
“I told the group leader three weeks ago that my husband would be bringing our son from now on and she was totally fine about it.”
The mum-of-one then explained there are only three baby groups in her town, and the other two are specifically for mums so there is nowhere else for her husband to take their son.
And she said she’s been left “absolutely livid” by the email because of the way it reduced her husband to just his genitals.
In her post, which was titled “Am I being unreasonable to be absolutely livid about this email”, she said: “Would it be unreasonable to fire back an email asking firstly why she feels the need to refer to my husband by his genitals and secondly, where in the group descriptions does it say it’s a mums only group?”
Commenters on Mumsnet were equally outraged by the email – and some even called for action to be taken for “discrimination”.
One person wrote: “I agree I find that a bit outrageous! I would definitely be challenging it … it’s out of order and discriminatory.”
While another said: “Shocking discrimination, I would also be livid. Did she actually really only refer to him by his genitals? That’s so offensive.”
The mum returned to the post to offer an update after speaking to the group leader and to other mums who attend the group – and it turns out the complaint wasn’t genuine.
Instead, one mum entered the false complaint because she didn’t want to invite the dad out for coffee with the rest of the mums after the group had ended.
The mum wrote: “Her original outrage at my husband’s presence had nothing to do with breastfeeding! She was annoyed because they all go for coffee after and she felt awkward not inviting my husband but didn’t want him there.
“I got an email from the group leader saying she had been told the complaint wasn’t genuine and doesn’t represent the feelings of the majority of the group.
“My husband will be going back.”
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.