Mum with baby in intensive care told she's 'mean' for not putting up Christmas tree

A mum has said she doesn’t want to decorate for Christmas as she has ‘too much going on’ with a baby in intensive care – but her parents think she’s being unreasonable

A woman in a blue and black jumper and jeans sitting down next to a Christmas tree. She has been crying and has her head in her hands
The mum has one baby in the NICU and isn’t in the Christmas spirit (stock image)

Christmas is seen by many as a happy time of year, but the stresses of life don’t stop just because it’s December and some people find it hard to get into the holiday spirit.

But one mum has been branded “unreasonable” by her parents for not putting up a Christmas tree for her son to enjoy – even though she’s currently struggling with a premature baby who’s in the NICU (newborn intensive care unit).

The mum-of-two posted on Mumsnet to ask if she was wrong to not “feel festive” this year, as she simply has too much going on to get in a Christmassy mood.

She wrote: “I really can’t be bothered with a Christmas tree this year, we’ve got a lot going on. Premature baby in the NICU too and I just don’t feel festive. Lots going on.

People think she needs to put up a tree for her four-year-old son (stock image)


Getty Images)

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“My son is four and doesn’t understand Christmas but might be interested in a bit of sparkle. But I think he can just enjoy someone else’s tree to look at, and the many many of them outside the village houses nearby.”

The mum also claimed her son would “try to ruin the tree”, so didn’t see the point in putting one up.

She added: “He would also try to ruin the tree too and I’m not sure I can take on the stress.

“Mine and my partner’s parents all think it’s very unreasonable!”

The woman’s post divided commenters – with many suggesting she should just put up a small tree for the sake of her son.

One person wrote: “In your situation I would probably do one of the potted ones you buy in supermarkets that are a few feet high. A few twinkly lights and a bit of tinsel, job done.

“I wouldn’t do nothing though, four year olds aren’t oblivious.”

While another said: “I think it would be a bit mean not to have a tree for your son’s sake. Are you sure he doesn’t understand at all?”

And a third posted: “Could a grandparent deliver a small, fake, pre-decorated tree? That way it would be a surprise for your son and no hassle for you.”

But others defended her decision, as they said not having a Christmas tree isn’t the end of the world.

Someone said: “It’s not the law! We haven’t put one up for a few years, and we’ve not been arrested yet! Do what you want to do.”

As someone else added: “He’s four. He won’t remember the one Christmas you didn’t put a tree up. There are plenty of Christmas trees around this year in his world.

“Pop some tinsel and lights up if you want to. Ignore the naysayers. Hope everything goes well with your littlest one.”

The mum then responded to the thread and said she would be buying a small tree for her son that won’t cause her too much stress.

She wrote: “Thanks all. I’m going to buy a little one he can pull down and take the decorations off, just to ease my mind.

“The thought of him being disappointed makes me feel sick to my stomach so he must have something, even if I am 99.9% sure he has no understanding of it at all.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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