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Mum left 'feeling sick' after ditching date who lied for months about who he was


A woman has been left feeling furious after she went on several dates with a man she met online, only to find out he wasn’t telling her the truth about who he was

A woman sitting up in bed in contemplation while her partner sleeps beside her.
The mum dated the mystery man for ‘months’ before discovering the truth (stock image)

We all know the risks of meeting people online, but it can be easy to believe everything you see on a dating app when you think you might have found someone special.

And one mum on Mumsnet has reminded us all to do a little more research before we agree to meet up with a stranger for a date after she was lied to for weeks by a man she thought was perfect for her.

The woman explained she met the mystery man on Bumble and he had told her he was currently getting divorced.

She wrote: “I met a guy who was 41 with no children on Bumble. He told me he was getting a divorce and that he and his ex lived separately.







She ‘felt sick’ after realising she’d been lied to (stock image)
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Image:

Getty Images/Image Source)

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“I went on a few dates with him over the course of a few months and I had an instinct a few things were up – he still followed his ex on his Apple Watch and she was still commenting on his photos on social media.

“He also told me the wrong number for his flat when I put it into Uber on one of our dates to drop him off, as when he invited me to his flat later, it was a different number on the same road. He was very reluctant to have me over at first, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.”

But after going on another date with him, she noticed he made a few comments that called into question the status of his marriage, so she decided to look him up online – and discovered he was still married.

She added: “During the last date I went on with him, he had a drink in him and let a few things slip which gave me a gut reaction that he may have been lying about getting a divorce. I followed my instinct and I’m now glad I did.

“He is still married and they are still together – a friend found them on social media recently pictured together with numerous comments about how lovely a couple they are.”

The mum was left feeling “sick” at the thought of being used as a “side chick” and told other women to look out for the warning signs that she missed – including his vague names on social media that made him hard to track.

She said: “I’m disappointed that someone would feel so little respect for other people that they could be potentially using them as ‘side chick’. I feel a bit sick, to be honest, but glad I got away.

“For the record, I just made the quietest and most graceful exit I could, and he is blocked everywhere.

“Another huge warning flag that I missed about these types of men – he did not use his real name on his social media (only initials) so he was difficult to find initially.”

The woman originally planned to tell the man’s wife what he had been doing, but later decided not to because she didn’t want to get involved in more drama that could impact her mental health.

She added in a follow-up post: “I slept on it and I have decided to not tell his wife. I am going to spend my weekend looking after myself as I feel so used by this. Neither of them really know me and I have to look after myself.”

Commenters on the post backed the mum’s decision to prioritise herself and reassured her she isn’t at fault for the man’s actions.

One person wrote: “I think that sounds sensible. You should prioritise yourself.”

While another said: “I voted you should tell her, but I totally understand your decision this morning. Move on and chalk it up to experience. Just remember it wasn’t you that did anything wrong.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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