A reader writes to Daily Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan after feeling miffed over her partner’s low key wedding proposal while they were cleaning up
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I’ve been with my boyfriend for eight years, we’re both 36 and have a two-year-old son. I’ve always been keen to get married, but more so since having a baby.
However, it’s never appealed to my boyfriend, so I gave up hope of him ever popping the question.
The other side of things is that he’s a really great partner – loving and loyal – and he’s also proving to be a brilliant and caring father. That obviously means more to me than anything.
The other night, though, he completely shocked me by asking me to marry him. It wasn’t a grand proposal.
He basically said, “I think we should get married and do you fancy picking a ring at the weekend” when we were in the middle of clearing up the kitchen!
I was happy, but also a bit miffed that it wasn’t romantic at all – it was almost said in passing. Plus, one of his best mates is getting married at the end of this year and I hope he didn’t ask me just because he doesn’t want to feel left out or because he feels he should. I want him to mean it and to want it because he loves me.
Am I making too much of this? It’s all I’ve wanted for so long, but it feels like a bit of an afterthought. I’d love your help.
OK, lots of men (sorry for the generalisation) find romantic gestures tricky or awkward. And, when it comes down to it, what’s more important – the fact he’s asked you to marry him and wants to be with you or a big romantic proposal?
Also, true romance isn’t about those grand gestures, it’s about the small day-to-day stuff that shows you he cares, and it sounds as if he has that in bucket-loads.
A guy who clears up the kitchen? Big tick! And his proposal was romantic in its own way – just those words are romantic.
Also, he doesn’t sound like the type of chap who would suddenly want to get married just because his mate is. It’s taken him a while to get to this point. Marriage might not have seemed important to him in the past when you were younger and didn’t have your son, but maybe it just feels right to him now.
I would run with it and enjoy it – plus there’s plenty of time for hearts and flowers down the line.