'I've paid £25k towards my brother's wedding but he won't let me be involved in it'

A woman has shared her ‘upset’ after being left out of her brother’s wedding planning, despite having made a generous donation of £25,000 to help pay for the whole thing

Stylish bride and groom are kissing at the wedding reception under the white floral decoration
She’s paying for the wedding, but she’s not involved (stock photo)

A woman from Northern Ireland has claimed she was only too happy to put £25,000 towards the cost of her younger brother’s wedding but has now been left feeling ‘weird’ about being the only one not to be involved in the run-up to the big day.

At her brother’s request, the unnamed 31-year-old woman – who explains that the siblings were “raised to always look after each other and share” – set up a wedding account for the bride and groom-to-be, adding her own sizeable donation.

Given that she earns £150,00 per year in her career as a commercial pilot, the generous big sister is a fair bit more well off than her younger brother, or her future sister-in-law, who works part-time.

She, therefore, didn’t mind chipping in to make their big day as special as possible.

The sister-in-law has made sure to involve her family members in the ceremony (stock photo)


Getty Images)

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Taking to Reddit’s AmITheA**hole forum, the saddened sister explained that their parents have now both passed away, with she and her brother being “each other’s only living relatives”.

Over the years, she says she’s kindly helped towards supporting her sibling financially, covering the costs of his master’s degree and putting a down payment on his house. She also plans to pay for his future wife to undergo rounds of IVF, helping them to start a family of their own.

However, the woman was disappointed to discover that, while her sister-in-law’s entire family were involved in the wedding proceedings as bridesmaids and groomsmen, she and her husband were just guests.

Furthermore, while the couple viewed various wedding venues with family members from the sister-in-law’s side, she was only “emailed the costing if it’s selected”.

The sister feels ‘taken advantage of’ (stock photo)


Getty Images/Blend Images)

The poster wrote: “I told my brother I don’t mind paying for the wedding but I feel really weird that everyone else is involved in the decision and I’m just involved with paying.

“Brother has said that I’m not our parents, I can’t replace our parents and that’s why I’m not involved. Why can’t I just do something nice without making him feel sh*t? I feel like an a**hole for causing drama, but also feel taken advantage of.”

The post stirred a flurry of responses in the comment section, with many feeling that she shouldn’t continue paying for the wedding at all.

One person remarked: “If he’s behaving like this now, he’ll just cut you off and contact again when he needs help”.

Another described the brother’s behaviour as “straight-up disrespectful”.

However, others argued that having already committed to paying towards the ceremony, it wouldn’t be right for the poster to go back on her word, with a different user stating that “to impose retrospective conditions is not fair”.

What do you think the sister should do in this situation? Let us know.

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