lifestyle

'I'm so tired of mum and sisters having a go at my husband because of his work'



Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my husband for five years and it’s a second marriage for both of us. I have a daughter with my ex and my husband and I have a three-year-old son.

My husband has always suffered from low self-esteem and anxiety, but not all the time. However, he did leave a full-time job because he couldn’t handle the stress and now freelances, picking up work when he can.

I’m OK with all of this, but I get such a hard time for it from my mum and sisters, who think my husband doesn’t do enough to support us. I’ve told them to keep out of it and that I’m very happy, but the snide (and direct) negative comments keep coming.

I have a good job that pays pretty well and we manage fine between us. In fact, my husband is very supportive when it comes to our son and takes on most of the childcare while I’m working.

How can I get my family off my back? I feel they’re starting to ruin things for us and wish they could just be happy that I’m happy.

By the way, my ex earned loads of money, but he was a bad husband and I was miserable with him.

Coleen says

I think it’s time you were direct with your family and told them you don’t want to hear any more negative comments about your husband or you’re going to end up falling out. To be frank, it’s really none of their business and I actually think their attitude is insulting and small minded.

This relationship works for you and that’s all that matters. I’m sure if you felt you were being taken advantage of, or your hubby wasn’t pulling his weight at home so you were struggling, then you’d do something about it.

The fact is you’re a team and, in the coming years, it might be that your hubby finds a job that he can manage, which earns him more money, and you’ll take a step back from work and take on more of the childcare.

The important thing is that you can be open and honest with each other and are able to discuss challenges that crop up and work them out together.

Would your family rather you were with a man who had a brilliant job, but made you miserable? Your hubby sounds like a good father, he’s still working (albeit less than he was) and he makes you happy. Your family should be happy for you.





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