Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader who is fed up with her relatives telling her and her husband what to do with their money but doesn’t know how to tell them to mind their own business
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Dear Coleen, My husband’s parents are constantly asking us about our finances and it’s driving me mad.
We have good jobs, a nice home, no debts and we never ask them for anything. Yet they seem to think it’s OK to constantly ask us about our finances.
I had a pay rise recently, which my husband discussed with his dad, who then sent me a text message telling me I should put it away in a savings account.
When we were in lockdown and saving money on our commute to work, they told us to put all our train fares into an account, and even told us which account to put it into.
What would you tell this reader to do? Join the discussion in the comment section
We’re going on holiday soon and when my father-in-law found out how much we’d paid for it, he complained and tried to get us to cancel it and book somewhere else that was cheaper.
How can I tell them to mind their own business?
My husband seems to think it’s perfectly normal and just a sign that they’re looking out for us, but I feel like they’re crossing a line.
They’re probably one of those families who are really careful with money, and are perhaps a bit controlling with it.
It’s hard for parents, though. My son and his fiancé are getting married next year and I see all this money being paid out, and the mother in me wants to go, “Stop! Should you not put some of that to one side for rent?”
But I just have to bite my tongue, because it’s their lives.
They’ve got to make their own mistakes, just as we all did.
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But it doesn’t sound as if you are making mistakes, so I would just ignore them.
Go on holiday wherever you want to, ignore their texts and advice about savings, and just do your own thing.
Just humour them because it’s easier that way and a lot better than falling out.
Failing that, tell your husband to stop discussing your finances with his parents.
You’re not asking how they spend their money, so they shouldn’t be asking how you spend yours.