'I'm 22 and sleeping with someone who's old enough to be my gran, but is it wrong?'

The Mirror’s resident agony aunt, Coleen Nolan, helps a reader who has grown close to a lonely widow. He met her in a park where they both walk their dogs and after a while, they became close

Woman with dog
The couple met while walking their dogs (Stock photo)

Dear Coleen

I’m a single guy aged 22 and recently I got a dog. I take him to the same park every day for exercise.

While there, I got to know a lady who also walks her dog and I’d guess she’s in her mid-60s. She lives about 15 minutes from my flat and we have some great chats.

She told me her husband died 18 months ago and that she gets very lonely. She invited me to go over to hers on Christmas Eve for some drinks and said a few of her neighbours would also be there. Well, no one else turned up, but we had quite a lot to drink.

As I was getting up to leave, she asked if we could have a kiss under the mistletoe, which ended up leading to the inevitable. I’ve got to say, she’s incredibly attractive and very fit.

Is this wrong and should I stop? We’ve got together about half a dozen times since and keep thinking to myself that it’s crazy because I’m more than 40 years younger than she is, but then I think, what’s the harm in it? She did say we should keep it to ourselves.

What’s your opinion?

What would you tell this reader to do? Have your say in the comment section

Coleen Nolan is the Mirror’s resident agony aunt

Coleen says

Well, it’s not wrong in the sense that you are two consenting adults who like each other and clearly find each other sexually attractive.

You ask what’s the harm in it and I think if you’re both on the same page in terms of what the relationship is and how it progresses, then there’s less likelihood of someone getting their heart broken. It could just be about friendship and fun. I think the problem will be if one of you expects more than the other is willing to give.

OK, let’s be honest here, there is an enormous age gap and I think you’d both be kidding yourselves if you see a long-term future in it. In 10 years’ time, when you’re only 32 and at the stage in life when you start thinking about settling down, this woman will be in her mid-70s. The danger for you is that you could drift along in this arrangement and stop yourself from meeting a woman nearer your own age who you could build a life with.

I’m guessing because she doesn’t want to tell anyone about your friendship, she’s really only looking for some company and no-strings fun. If that’s all you’re looking for at the moment, then agree on it.

Read More

Read More


Leave a Reply

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you accept our use of cookies.  Learn more