'I think I gave my daughter the wrong name and it's keeping me up at night'

When it comes to baby names, some people have had their perfect choices picked out for as long as they can remember, while others have no clue where to start.

Selecting what you’re going to call your child for the rest of their life is tricky and can sometimes lead to regret.

One mum has recently admitted to feeling this terrible sense of regret, two years after she named her daughter.

The unnamed woman explained all in a post on Reddit’s Name Nerds forum, sharing how she named her little one Jane after her late grandmother, giving her a name that ticked all her boxes.

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Her post read: “I feel like I gave my daughter the wrong name.

“Has anyone else dealt with this? The name itself is fine (Jane), I like that she’s named for my grandmother, I wanted something classic and elegant. But I lay awake at night regretting my choice and wishing I’d named her Daphne instead.

“She’s almost two, so I’m obviously not changing it. I guess I’m just looking for commiseration or reassurance that this feeling will go away?”

In the comments she later shared some more information about her situation, adding: “I generally like the name, and there are lots of famous Janes out there, and it checked all my boxes when picking it.

A woman looking at a list of baby names written in a notebook
She’s not sure about the name she picked (stock photo)

“She has nickname options too, so she can always change what she goes by when she’s older. I don’t know- I guess I just don’t know how to not be stuck on this feeling. She’s adopted, so it’s highly unlikely that there’s going to be a baby #2.”

Many people responded to the Reddit post, with some suggesting the mum go ahead and change the name if she feels so strongly about it, while others thought she should wait and let the child grow into it.

One person replied: “I’m sorry you’re going through this. It turns out about one in seven parents regret the name they chose for their child. So you’re not alone.

“If you really feel strongly about it, she’s still young enough that a change could be in order without upsetting too much (she’d be too young to remember if you start early enough). If that feels too extreme, you could just start calling her Daphne and see how that goes. Maybe you could make it her new middle name to justify it?”

Another said: “I think it’s totally normal to be wistful about the names you didn’t pick, or have fleeting moments where it’s a strong feeling, but if it’s a constant, strong thing and there’s no concrete reason you feel that way (which there doesn’t seem to be; you picked a name you liked with personal meaning that hasn’t had unforeseen problems like everyone mispronouncing it) is there some other stress or anxiety that you’re sublimating this way? When my kid was a baby I went through a period where I got very hung up on regretting not using a certain name. It wasn’t really about the name.”

Someone else wrote: “I think this is normal. Your child will grow into her name eventually.”

What would you do in this mum’s position? Would you change your child’s name? Let us know in the comments below.


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