A father expecting a third son has opened up about the ‘judgement’ he gets from his friends and family members about not having any girls as they think “boys are the worst”
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When it comes to having children, there are some people who secretly have a preference as to whether they’d like a girl or boy, but most are happy either way as long as they have a healthy baby.
However, when you only have children of the same sex, it seems many people become invested in your family – hoping you’ll finally be able to have one of the other.
A dad of two boys, who is currently expecting his third child, has spoken out after feeling “judged” by his friends and family for not having any girls.
In a post on the parenting forum, he wrote: “I’m getting judged for having boys. Is it really that different raising boys vs girls?
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“I’m hoping to get some answers and maybe clarity on why so many people are judgmental in my life about having boys? Is it just some anecdotal thing that me and my wife are experiencing or is this some macro thing going on?
“I’m Dad, have two boys under six, we’re pregnant with our third (just found it it’s a boy). For whatever reason, most of our friends who have young kids have little girls. Like eight out of 10 are girls as luck would have it.
“Ever since our first was born, I’ve heard comments from friends that having a little girl has been and is so special. I chalked it up to just being excited about their firstborn kids, but then after talking with other dads I’ve heard a lot of comments like this from them… ‘Thank god I had a girl(s). They’re so much easier’ and a dad in front of my oldest son said ‘Yeah, girls are great. Boys are the worst!’ Not sarcastically either. Like what?
“We’re constantly being asked if we wanted a girl when we had our second, and now our third by our friends. No, we just wanted another kid. We don’t care about the sex.”
He continued to say: “They always seem so disappointed by our response and they say offhand comments like ‘I can’t imagine having a little boy’.
“One mom said they only want to give their daughter sisters and they even manipulate the daughter to only want sisters. This doesn’t include all the negative stuff my wife has heard from her personal friend group. We’re both just so surprised. It’s so important to their identity and I can’t tell why.”
Even his mother and mother-in-law have been ‘disappointed’ that their second and third kids haven’t been girls as “girls will take care of you both into your old age” and “boys are barbarians”.
The dad adds: “I will say, in a sort of hypocritical way, that my children do sound harder than a lot of my friends’ kids sometimes. My kids destroy adult furniture, and they do behave crazy. They have infinite energy. They are louder than most of my friends’ kids. But, are they that much harder than girls? If they are, and the difference is so crazy, it kind of just opens a can of worms in my mind about how we’re all just having such different experiences being parents.”
More than 200 people responded to the post, sharing their thoughts.
One person replied: “I have only girls and get lots of ‘wait until the teenage years’ or ‘aren’t you sad you don’t have boys” comments. I will say, my girls ARE easy. But I chalk it up to personality over sex.”
Another wrote: “One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that most people – especially when the children in question are very young – are really commenting about themselves and their relationships with their own parents.”
While a third posted: “It’s like you can’t win either way. I’m the mother of a girl and if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard about how much more boys love their moms or how girls are the worst as teens I could pay off my student loans. Pay no mind. People just get weird and start thinking the best way to have kids is the way they have kids.”
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