One reader writes to Daily Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan about a strange encounter with a married pal whose life is a mess and which keeps playing on his mind
Image: Getty Images)
Dear Coleen, I’ve been good friends with a married couple for several years after meeting them through a local sports club.
Recently, they asked me to do some plumbing work for them, so I arrived early one afternoon to be met by the wife, who was still in her dressing gown. She was quite animated, slurring her words and a bit unsteady on her feet.
I walked through to the kitchen and started working on fitting some new pipework. About 20 minutes later, I heard some shuffling behind me and turned round to be confronted by the wife, stark naked, holding two glasses of wine and asking to be “cheered up”.
I immediately told her I’d never take advantage of someone in her condition and, besides, I’m in a happy relationship.
She burst into tears and apologised, telling me that her life was a mess and how unhappy she was.
I sent her off to get dressed, while I made some coffee.
What would you tell this reader to do? Have your say in the comment section
Perhaps I was wrong, but I sat down with her at the kitchen table and listened to her pouring out all her marital problems.
I was quite shocked, although obviously I’ve only heard one side of the story. I now feel uneasy about the prospect of meeting the couple, at least at the moment.
I could have glossed over her coming on to me and put it down to the drink, but the things she told me about her private life keep nagging on my mind.
I don’t know whether to say anything to anyone. I haven’t even mentioned it to my partner, who is also friends with them.
I wonder why you haven’t told your partner – as another woman, she might be able to offer your friend some support.
It would also help you by getting it off your chest, as you’re obviously feeling uneasy about the encounter. Nothing happened between you and this woman – and I’m sure she’s mortified now about what she did – so you’ve nothing to feel guilty about.
I think you handled the situation really well. Instead of being annoyed or embarrassed, you stayed and listened to her when she needed someone to talk to.
I think it’s a bad idea to start getting involved in their marriage problems, though, unless she told you something that made you worry for her safety.
She could also have an alcohol problem if she was drunk in the afternoon and that might be playing a part in her marriage crisis.
It’s probably a good idea to take a step back from the friendship for a while if you feel awkward and I’m sure your partner would understand, but maybe she could reach out this woman on her own.