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Dad under fire for complaining that wife is 'babying' their daughter with special needs


A parent has caused a stir online and been branded an ‘a**hole’ after complaining that his wife has been ‘babying’ their 13-year-old daughter who has special needs

Mum braiding daughter's hair
He thinks his wife is ‘babying’ their daughter (stock photo)

A man has been branded ‘uncaring’ and ‘jealous’ after he complained online that his wife was ‘babying’ their teenage daughter.

The unnamed dad took to Reddit to ask for some advice after he upset his wife and she refused to speak to him.

He wanted to know if he was actually in the wrong for what he had done, so he shared a post on the Am I The A**hole forum.

The post explains how the couple have a 13-year-old daughter, named Ava, who has special needs.

The man, from the US, claims his wife is a “great mom” but he thinks she is “spoiling” Ava by not letting her be as independent as she perhaps should be.








His wife is mad at him for his comments (stock photo)
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Image:

Getty Images)



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He wrote: “Ava struggles in school so my wife emails all of Ava’s teachers to ask for modified assignments (she has an IEP, which I feel is unneeded but that’s a different story) and sits down with her every day after school to do homework with her or do projects or study for tests. I don’t think Ava’s done a single assignment alone this year.

“Then today Ava assumed the weather would be like yesterday (50 degrees and windy) so she dressed for that weather without checking the weather app on her phone or tablet. Today was 80 degrees and sunny so my wife ended up sending cold water bottles to Ava’s classes and made her spend recess and lunch inside (my wife is a teacher at that school so that’s how she was able to do that) so she ‘wouldn’t get heat stroke’. It was only 80 degrees and the lunch tables are all in the shade so Ava would’ve been fine outside.

“Even an hour ago Ava came to us and said that her head hurt and she was nauseous so my wife is in Ava’s room rubbing her back to ‘comfort her’. Over a damn headache.”

He added: “In my opinion, Ava needs to learn how to function on her own so I told my wife to stop babying Ava and to let her take care of herself. She can study for a test by herself or take a Tylenol and go to bed without mommy being there to hold her hand and rub her back and to stop trying to get Ava out of situations like today. She can deal with being a little hot for a couple hours and learn to check the weather app in the mornings.

“Well, now my wife is refusing to talk to me and is planning on sleeping in the guest room tonight so I wanted to see if I was the a**hole.”

Hundreds of people responded to the post, agreeing that he was in fact the a**hole in this situation.




One person said: “You mention that your daughter struggles in school and has an IEP, which you don’t think is needed. However, your wife who is a teacher and your daughter’s teachers deemed one necessary. I don’t see anything wrong with a parent sitting down with their child and offering assistance with homework, it’s the behaviour of an engaged parent. Specifically. the parent of a child who may have a learning disability. I have friends, some of whom are school teachers and this is not uncommon. Also, I don’t consider offering comfort when your child has a headache and is nauseous to be spoiling a child. You seem to have a much more hands-off approach to parenting, but I don’t think that your wife is really doing anything wrong. You come off as impatient and uncaring.”

Another replied: “The IEP was a red flag for me. I was diagnosed with ADHD and SPD as an adult, and sadly I’m all too familiar with parents and educators not taking it seriously when a child struggles for valid reasons. My first thought was ADHD (because of the not dressing for the weather, that is so recognizable) and also the headaches (sensory overload, I suffered headaches almost all through school). At least this girl has at least one parent who is caring.”

A third posted: “I read in one of your comments, that your daughter has ADHD, anxiety, two autoimmune diseases and a history of dizzy spells and fainting. Ava has special needs and you seem to have issues with her issues being accommodated. Your wife is supporting and advocating for your daughter and you’re annoyed by it.”

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