Ashley Cain has opened up about losing his baby daughter Azaylia, saying “life will never be the same again” now she’s gone.
The Ex on The Beach star took to his Instagram Stories ahead of Azaylia’s funeral next week, admitting he is “crushed” by the grief.
Azaylia, who Ashley shared with his girlfriend Safiyya Vorajee, lost her battle leukaemia last month. She was only eight-months-old.
“Me and Safiyya have been doing our very best to stay strong,” he wrote in the post.
“But it’s impossible at times. We’ve just had to search through all of our pictures and videos to choose which ones to play on Azaylia’s day.
“It has left us crushed at the reality of what has happened.
“I live at the moment with constant pain in my head, aching in my chest and anxiousness in my belly.
“The world seems grey through my eyes. The only colour I see is an orange sky when we’re blessed enough to have it.
“A laugh isn’t a laugh, a smile is not a smile and my life is just not the same. It never will be again.
“I try my hardest to get up and run, bike and occupy my mind. But I am just sad. So sad. I miss you so much Azaylia.”
It comes after Ashley shared his plans to Azaylia’s funeral, which will take place on Friday.
He wrote: “We would like to thank everyone for their prayers, words of sympathy & patience over the last few weeks, while we come to terms with the loss of Azaylia.
“We have been incredibly moved by the support we have received far and wide and all the beautiful gesture of kindness will live in hearts forever.”
Ashley has worked with local police to work out a route so people who want to pay their respects can witness Azaylia’s final journey.
He added: “We would be touched and honoured to see as many of those that wish, pay their respects to Azaylia by lining the streets somewhere along the route the cortege will proceed through.
“We respectfully ask all attending Azaylia’s final journey to adhere to the current Covid legislation, to maintain social distancing and to keep within your family bubbles, this will ensure everyone is safe and following the rules that are set out.
“As truly difficult as the day will be, we are going to give it our all to keep Azaylia’s day an uplifting day of remembrance for her life and encourage anyone attending to show their love by clapping and making joyous noise of celebration as the cortege goes by!
“We would love to make her final journey a special one as she watches from heaven. LET’S GO CHAMP!”